All this he said/she said crap can absolutely stop! There’s a reason I don’t hang out with friends, don’t have a lot of female friends and pretty much spend every waking minute with my kids and husband and family in my house!
Back when my husband and I first started dating in 2004, one of his ex-girlfriends, the most recent one before me, and one of our mutual friends, started some terrible rumors about him and was trying to get ME to believe them. That wasn’t going to happen. It didn’t take us long at all to fall in love and I was not going to let a couple catty females come between us. There have been people who have said that since I got together with him that I am no longer fun and I won’t hang out with them anymore, but you know what, it’s not whether other people think I’m fun, it’s whether my husband thinks I am fun or not that matters to me. Do I party? Nah. Do I go out with friends? Nah. Did I ever party? Nope! Yeah I did stuff with friends, but honestly, it was just going to their houses because they were all a few years younger than me.
I have since moved away from where I grew up, as have most of my friends. Moving away from where I grew up wasn’t a horrible thing! From 2004 until 2013, those 2 same females were constantly causing drama. One more than the other, and believe it or not, it was NOT his ex who was causing the most drama. See, she had a thing for my husband yet she was absolutely obsessed with his best friend, who was around us quite a bit and even lived with us for a bit. She would send him texts through what I can only guess was a free texting program online saying it was me, and it caused us to almost split up a time or two. I’m NOT cool with that.
From about 2013, when we moved 5 hours north to Kansas City, where we live now, until pretty recently, my life has been drama free. However, now I seem to have been dropped in the middle of it and I’m not dealing with it. Let me be friends with who I choose to be friends with. Let me choose who I talk to! I’m a nice person. I’m a friendly person.
I have always been fairly shy, so it’s hard for me to talk to people. My oldest sons football team has been one of the best things for me. I have made genuine friends with some of the moms! Yet there are some who just want to start drama. I’m just not about that. I have a hard time opening up to people, yet when I do I feel I’m too trusting. Thinking I can say something in confidence to someone else then come to find out it gets spread about isn’t cool. I even told my husband this after he took the boys to a conditioning or something football related and I didn’t go. He talked to my closest friend there and came home and relayed everything to me. I informed him I am too trusting. Always have been.
I’m trying to figure out how to just eleminate all drama from my life, without having to get rid of the people in it. Because I can’t get rid of the one who I found out I can’t trust anymore, simply because my boys are such good friends with her boys. It wouldn’t be fair to the kids.
Some awesome quotes I’ve found that I feel relate to this post are below.
Speak less, listen more. You have time to hear and see the drama and sidestep it. ~Alexis Benjamin
This is what I am learning to do. I don’t gossip, unless of course it’s with my Grandma, who is my closest relative and I talk to multiple times a day. And even then, it’s nothing bad. She doesn’t have facebook and is always wondering what’s going on in the facebook world. I also know that she knows anything I mention to her is 100% confidential and I know it won’t get back out. I trust my Grammie with my entire being! I have learned to keep most of my responses to what people say to “oh really?” and “Yeah” and simple things like that. I won’t encourage them and won’t feed into the drama. I’ll listen if someone has to vent, but I rarely agree with them, especially if it’s about a friend of mine. I’m going to blow up one of these days with all the information I have inside me. I have actually thought about getting a journal and writing in that about what everyone talks to me about because I just don’t need it in my head anymore.
If I have an issue with someone I go straight to them to talk about it, and I don’t talk to anyone else about it if they aren’t involved. Gossip breeds drama! ~Kristie Sherman
I have learned this the hard way, unfortunately. I almost lost a couple really good friends by not talking directly to them. I do know that one person I can vent absolutely anything to is my husband, but honestly I try NOT to burden him with the silly stuff.
These are most of the reasons I have always had more male friends than female friends. Females, no matter the age, are generally dramatic and I left high school over 15 years ago and I don’t want to deal with the she said/she said stuff, again!
If you’ve finished this post, congratulations. I applaud you!
I’d love to know what you do to keep a drama free life! Any pointers you have for me???